Some of the earliest feedback I received after preaching was, “That was a great message. But I couldn’t stay in this church if you were the pastor.”
My face must have spoken for me because I didn’t say a word, and they continued, “I love it when you preach; I just couldn’t be here with a woman pastor.”
I politely thanked them for their encouraging feedback and felt entirely relieved that I wasn’t the pastor. I was a Senior Sales Manager in banking and was happy with my life. My husband and I were part of a church that we helped to plant, and I was filling in for our pastor, who was on a much-needed vacation. I was so naïve; I had no idea that female leadership was an issue for some people! I began to research and study and concluded that perhaps the person giving me feedback was right!
But then, a few months later, something remarkable occurred in my living room. I was on my knees reading from Isaiah 6 when God entered that space in a new way and spoke to my heart. As I read, in my mind’s eye, I could see all of heaven worshiping a holy God. I envisioned the Lord as Isaiah describes, “high and exalted,” with angels above Him calling to one another, “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.”
I identified with the prophet Isaiah’s words, “It’s all over! I’m doomed! I am a sinful person. I have filthy lips and live among people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King.”
The chapter continues with an angel touching Isaiah’s mouth with a hot coal, cleansing him. Isaiah received assurance from God that he was clean, forgiven, and called. At that moment, on an ordinary day, God invited an ordinary person like me on a journey to ministry. I continued reading, “Then I heard the Lord asking, ‘Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?’
Obediently, on the floor in my living room, I raised my hand, “Here I am, Lord. Send me.”
Shortly after, I shared with my husband Frank that God had called me to leave my corporate job for ministry. I had no idea what that would look like or where to go next. I wasn’t trained, and quite frankly, we enjoyed my income and lifestyle. I expected some pushback or concern from Frank as I shared this, but he completely affirmed what I was saying. He agreed that I had a calling on my life. That was 22 years ago, and neither of us knew what God had in store. We simply obeyed.
I left my job in banking and began to follow God’s lead. We were led to a church locally, where I served as volunteer staff. I learned much about church leadership and was coached by a gifted pastor, Steve Huskey. He gave me many opportunities and honest feedback. The church experienced explosive growth quickly, and I eventually became paid staff.
I had big dreams of what might happen, but none included becoming a lead pastor. I loved the people I served and had opportunities to preach, develop leaders, and be part of a winning team. I was constantly stretched in new ways and continued discovering what God had to say about women in ministry through His Word.
An Unexpected Turn
It was a wonderful season of ministry. God was blessing the church. People were coming to know Jesus, folks were getting baptized, and we had to add services to accommodate everyone. Then, we experienced a change that I didn’t see coming. Our lead pastor and dear friend informed us that he felt led to take a position in Alabama.
I felt crushed. I had a vision of where God was leading us, and this wasn’t it. When the fog of disappointment lifted, I realized that I could assist during the transition. I sensed that God wanted to use me to guide people forward as we awaited our next lead pastor. So, I had a conversation with the board and agreed to lead during the interim.
During this season, folks naturally asked me, “Why aren’t you applying?”
I look back now and realize that things worked out as they should have. However, I believe there were many reasons I didn’t apply. I had never encountered a female lead pastor of a large church, and no one suggested it was a possibility for me. Furthermore, I didn’t receive a clear signal from God.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we hired our new lead pastor. He was exactly what the church needed. I felt relieved and thought we were off to the races once more!
However, I was mistaken. Our new pastor was excellent. Yet about four months in, I recognized that people continued to treat me as if I were the leader. I had a history with our congregation and was the one who guided them through a challenging season. Now, they needed to embrace our new pastor.
So I prayed and asked God, “How can I help facilitate this transition?”
The answer was a clear word from God that popped into my head: “Step down, and I will reward you.”
This was not what I expected! I was called to pastoral ministry! I thought this could not be God speaking to me, so I continued to pray.
And with no other explanation, I continued to hear, “Step down, and I will reward you.”
I wanted what was best for the church and to obey God. So, with tears, I resigned from my role. My husband and I remained at the church and continued to serve. I felt disappointed and re-launched a consulting business that I had set aside to go full-time in ministry.
Waiting was hard, but God was in it. I landed several lucrative contracts with my business, enjoyed time with my family, and, most importantly, had a sweet season with Jesus. During this time, I kept God’s word to me tucked away: “Step down, and I will reward you.”
I waited for over a year and a half. During that time, I applied for three different roles. One church turned me down, while I turned down another because, although I was interested in it, I sensed it wasn’t quite the one. Finally, in August 2015, I interviewed at a church in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which wasn’t even on my radar.
They were a multi-site church with an opening for a campus pastor in Weirton, West Virginia, south of my home in northeast Ohio. The interview went well. However, when I came out afterward, I noticed a guy about 10 years younger than me waiting, who was next in line to interview. Internally, I laughed and thought, “They won’t be calling me back.”
I had to repent because they called me back. One of the questions asked during the interview process was, “What do you say to people when they take issue with female pastors? How do you handle that theological difference?”
I hadn’t prepared for this question. However, off the cuff, I answered from my heart, “I don’t feel called to convince anyone. I’m okay if people think differently. I am certain I have work to do for Jesus, and my job is to obey Him, not to convince people.”
After additional rounds of interviews, writing samples, and preaching videos, Steve Cordle, the founding and lead pastor, called and invited me to join the team at Crossroads Church as the campus pastor for Weirton, West Virginia.
My Reward
The campus I was coming to serve was one year old and had a rocky start before my arrival. The weekend I was introduced as their pastor, people were surprised when I took the platform. Several folks later told me they thought Frank, my husband, was their new pastor. We all had some growing to do together.
I needed to learn how to be a campus pastor. Our messages were centrally written and delivered live. I had no experience preaching a message I didn’t write. My first Sunday there was less than stellar. My preaching was worse than my very first time preaching. Most people were quite gracious.
Another campus pastor, James Roberts, who had been assigned to assist me during my first few weeks, called to inform me that a family was leaving the church because they would not stay for a female pastor. I requested their number, and James asked, “You’re going to call them?”
“Yeah. I know I’m off to a rough start, but I want them to give me a chance.”
With sweaty palms, I called them. The husband sheepishly said, “Yeah, I’m sorry I called your boss. I should have called you.”
I answered, “Well, first of all, James isn’t my boss; he’s my teammate. But that’s okay. I’m calling to ask you for six weeks. I realize you probably have never had a female pastor before, and that’s totally fine. But please don’t judge me on that. After six weeks, if you still feel you need to go, I’ll respect your decision and bless your family. Everything will be good between us.”
He agreed to return and became a great friend and supporter.
We quickly grew in the first five months and needed to add another service. God was at work, and I was in a sweet spot. I led the campus through ups and downs over the next four and a half years. We continued to grow, add groups, and reach our community. Over the next several years, I held various roles in the church. I was the Pastor of Adult Life (affectionately called the PAL), the Pittsburgh West Region Pastor, and finally, the Lead Pastor.
The Courage to Go For It
Becoming a lead pastor wasn’t part of my 10-year life plan. In fact, I’m pretty shocked that I am a pastor at all. I didn’t choose this; God chose me, and I am so humbled He did. It blows my mind when I think about it. I am an ordinary person who grew up in an ordinary place, and the God who created everything called out to me. He rescued me from my mess, transformed my life, and called me to serve Him. And each day, I get to lead other ordinary people who do extraordinary things by hearing God’s voice and obeying Him.
Jesus had a way of elevating people who others said didn’t belong. In Luke 10, there is an account of Jesus and His disciples coming to a village “where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.” In verse 39 it goes on to say, “She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.”
This would have been such a scandal! This space that Mary was in was reserved for men to learn the wisdom and teachings of the Rabbi. Women were generally not permitted in these spaces, and it would have been considered a waste of time. Culturally, women did not need to learn what the Rabbi taught. They surely did not need it for any of the work they did.
And Martha questions the Teacher. “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work?”
And in the kindness of Jesus, in front of the men, in front of Mary, in front of Martha, He answers that women are permitted in His space. This was something new and strange. Women, at the feet of Jesus, learning with the men. In verse 41, he consoles, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
The Lord does not waste our time. He is the one who reminds us that our days are short. Jesus was not teaching Mary something that she could not or would not apply in some way. No, He is missionally strategic. He permitted women in His space because they were worthy of carrying out His commands and teachings.
With that being said, I will not learn His commands and teachings and fall short of not having enough courage to go for it when He calls. Jesus calls both men and women to pastoral ministry. We need faithful men and women answering His call. We cannot shrink back and miss out on the adventure of serving Him.
I became the lead pastor one year ago, succeeding our Founding Pastor, Steve Cordle. I am honored and humbled to serve our church, which he started 34 years ago. Last year, we held a big celebration service for him as he prepared to pass the baton to me. The night we honored him, the room was filled with people to celebrate him.
Pastor Steve has had and continues to have a distinguished career. He is an innovator and an early adopter, going multi-site over 20 years ago. He has written books, traveled the world, and raised up church planters. And I remember that night thinking, “I must be nuts. I have big shoes to fill.”
And the Lord spoke to my heart, “You have different shoes to fill.”
God invites people like me into spaces like this to reach the lost people He loves. And that gives me the courage to go for it when He calls.
Three Lessons Learned Along the Way
1. Find someone who believes in you and will also tell you the truth.
In 2018, I was grateful for the opportunity to meet Deb Walkemeyer. Deb is a church planter and co-lead pastor who was further along on the same journey. In 2020, I joined a mentoring group and received coaching from Deb. Undoubtedly, this was what I needed to give me the courage to apply for the Lead Pastor role at my church.
You need someone who will tell you when you’re living up to your full potential and when you’re operating below it. A good mentor who cares about you will do both. If you have no one, consider hiring someone. Choose someone on the same journey but a little further down the road. I’m grateful for my time with Deb.
2. Adopt the old saying, “Don’t believe your own press.”
There will always be fans and critics. Regardless of who you are, people will have opinions about what you should and shouldn’t do. The Bible reminds us in James 4:14 that “life is a vapor.” When God calls you to a mission, you must obey Him above all else.
I greatly respect those who differ with me theologically, but I answer to God and God alone. I prefer to preach Jesus’s life-giving message to advance the kingdom rather than engage in theological arguments that do not produce life. For me, it is missionally strategic to obey God and live out my calling rather than to defend it.
When all is said and done, no one else will answer to God for what I did or didn’t do. I don’t want to give Him an excuse that I was concerned with people’s opinions and missed out on my adventure serving Him. Remember, we serve an audience of One.
3. Stay close to Jesus and listen for His voice.
The voice of the Lord must be the highest priority in your life. I would have messed up the plan if I led myself rather than let Him lead me. I wouldn’t have left my job in banking. I wouldn’t have led during the interim in Ohio. I wouldn’t have chosen to step down from my pastoral role. I probably wouldn’t have stayed the course. And I know I wouldn’t have become a lead pastor.
These were all invitations from God. To accept His invitation, we must know what His voice sounds like, which comes from spending time with Him. His voice gives us confidence and courage to make decisions with conviction. I don’t know if you are called to be a lead pastor, but I can promise you that when you prioritize His voice over all the other voices in your life, He will take you exactly where you are supposed to be.
