Life sucks alone
You know it and I know it, too. No matter where you find yourself in life, in the physical or digital world, life was never meant to be done alone.
Look around. Community seems to have been part of the plan since the beginning. In Genesis, we see that God himself declares it’s not good for man to be alone. Adam may not have vocalized it, but God, in his wisdom, saw the need for companionship and community. It’s like God understood that loneliness is a horrible, awful feeling (that so many of us have experienced at some point in our lives) and knew to introduce an antidote. “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’” (Genesis 2:18 NLT)
Enter community. One of God’s most beautiful gifts.
And isn’t that our call today as well? As pastors, ministry leaders, and even Christians, our call is to help others (and ourselves) learn how to join in genuine, healthy Christian community. And not just any community, but community that is centered around and founded in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ with the purpose of building up its members. It’s a great privilege and honor we have. Yet, as I’ve found in my more than 10 years of ministry, community can be difficult to foster without the proper focus, no matter the context.
Even further, we start to add words like whispers so I don’t scare anyone off “digital” into the mix and we can really start to struggle. We think it takes some crazy new strategy to speak to those online or that it must take millions of dollars and a beautifully-crafted, 200-page strategy guide. Can I share a secret with you? It’s not a magic dance that you need to perfect, a great book that you need to read, or any special 12-step program that you needed to attend to learn how to build genuine Christian community online. You simply need to look to Jesus.
We don’t need a special app, cool YouTube titles, or relevant lingo. It starts with relationships.
Christian community is built the same way no matter the avenue. It’s built through genuine relationships, just as Jesus did. Look at how he walked with the 12. He lived among them. He commented on what he heard from them and corrected, confronted, and comforted them with the truth of the Father. Community with them was personal for Jesus. His relationships with them were unique and he cared deeply for them. He served them. Jesus taught us that genuine communities are safe, committed, and intentional. These same three things are the banners I preach to our people at our church when we are in a stage of building community. Let me explain deeper.
1. Christian Communities Are Safe – Matthew 7:1-5
I believe the Bible is clear that Jesus highly valued safety when building community. And I’m not meaning the wear helmets and use lots of yellow tape kind of safety. No, He provided a space where people could be authentic in their feelings and ask hard questions in a judgement-free space. He accepted everyone for how they came, but didn’t always affirm every lifestyle choice they had or were making. He stood on truth but also spoke life into those who followed Him. He not only made sure they were heard, he also lifted up those with questions and answered them personally, e.g. Nicodemus, Peter, and Thomas. Jesus embraced this safe mentality and people ate it up because it was counter cultural. Practically, a safe community built on a faith in Jesus means that you can share things in that group and it will not leave. It won’t go outside of that group. That group will “listen and not judge,” to quote TikTok. In a community like this, you can and should seek forgiveness from each other when needed. Safe communities have built trust, meaning that those involved are all embracing opportunities to share, listen, and be corrected in love in order that each member is more like Jesus in everything they do.
2. Christian Communities Are Committed – Romans 12:9-21
A community that is committed means that because of their faith in Jesus and desire to honor God and honor others, they will be people of their word. If they sign up for something they will show up. (Yeah, real things come up, but you won’t just show up when you feel like it.) You realize, people need you. So you commit, and not just in time, but you commit with your whole being. If you are asked to help with something, or meet with someone, you’ll strive to do it.
You’re not doing any of this to just check a box, but because you genuinely want to practice the spiritual discipline of community. Being a committed community means you won’t be wishy-washy. You’re all in.
3. Christian Communities Are Intentional – Ephesians 5:1-2, 15-17
This is the big one to me. If you want to build genuine Christian community, you must remember the gospel in everything you do. Remember what God has done for you, what he calls you to. To sum it up to a phrase, this is “To follow him and lead others to do the same.” With all that you do in this community, you’ll think about how this helps you, and more importantly, others grow to know and surrender their lives to Jesus more.
Let the gospel drive your desire for the group to be safe, let the gospel drive your heart to be committed to what you do and say. Be intentional in the moments you have with people, but also be intentional in creating moments outside of just the “the weekly church time slots.” We should teach that Christian community without intent to become more like Jesus is just plain old community. It’s great and all, but it’s seasonal at best.
We are looking to create something with eternity in mind. The life changing kind of stuff. I teach that these three things, when based on the foundation of the gospel, are the key to a successful community… no matter where it’s located. They take work. They aren’t cheap when it comes to relational, mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual equity. But they are important.
As a church that meets solely in the “community” based app called Discord, I know the toll it can take to spend the amount of time you’ll need to put forth to build something like this. Actually, I know the exact time it takes to start to see fruit in building something like this. (Thank you, Discord stats!) It takes hundreds of hours building trust and showing people that they are not only a part in this great thing called the “body of Christ,” but also that they are called to be an active member in it, to look outside themselves and embrace the body as a whole, and to help that body function and move.
I could probably spend more time typing out little things you could do to help people initially connect with each other, but I’ll spare you. Maybe another time. Today, know this, be intentional with building. Don’t neglect the people that God laid before you. Wave the banner of the gospel and call people to come together to share something deeper. To foster a space that’s safe, committed, and intentional. A space that produces good fruit. Put your head to the digital plow (okay, maybe just the keyboard and camera) and start spending intentional time with people online. Get to know them, invite others to join, and challenge them to more. It’ll take time, but know that God will bless the fields with digital fruits that bring physical change. Praying for you and for the communities you’ll make.
