Somewhere along the way, many women leaders begin to believe they are supposed to carry leadership alone.
The ministry demands.
The team dynamics.
The emotional labor.
The expectations – spoken and unspoken.
Women often lead while simultaneously holding families, communities, workplaces, and spiritual responsibilities together. And while leadership can be deeply meaningful, it can also become quietly isolating.
But Scripture tells a different story.
From the beginning, women were not designed for solitary leadership. Women were shaped for shared strength, mutual encouragement, and what I often call tribal living – a form of belonging that is courageous, generational, and sustaining.
In today’s world, “finding your tribe” has become a popular phrase. Social media communities, leadership cohorts, and online networks are built around shared identity and support.
But for women of faith, tribe is not a trend.
A tribe is where you are known.
A tribe is where you are formed.
A tribe is where you are strengthened in courage.
And every woman leader needs one.
Created to Come Alongside
In Genesis, God describes woman as ezer kenegdo, often translated as “helper,” but the Hebrew meaning carries far more weight than that word implies. The term ezer is frequently used throughout the Old Testament to describe God as strength and rescuer. It suggests partnership, support, and coming alongside with power.
Women were created not to lead behind or ahead, but alongside.
And I remember the first time I realized my tribe was much bigger than me.
Grandma’s Kitchen and the Gift of Belonging
My grandparents had a large garden. Every summer, harvest season brought the women together – strawberries, tomatoes, green beans, potatoes, and corn. Grandma’s kitchen became a gathering place of shared work and shared life. There was canning, freezing, making jelly – skills passed down through generations.
My mother and her sister were the only siblings. There were only two granddaughters: my cousin Beverly and me. I was the youngest, which meant someone was always watching over me, teaching me, helping me grow.
One summer, Grandma announced it was time for me to finally help to “put up the corn.”
Putting up corn required hot ears fresh from boiling water, sharp knives, and careful hands cutting kernels from the cob. I had graduated to using a knife, and the entire kitchen seemed to hold its breath.
All day long, Aunt Shirley, my mom, Grandma, and Bev watched closely. They corrected me when I needed it. They guided my hands. They smiled when I succeeded.
When I filled my first freezer bag full of corn, Grandma squeezed my shoulder. The others nodded with quiet pride. We didn’t high-five back then, but I understood something that day:
You belong here.
We want you to succeed.
You are not doing this alone.
That is what a tribe does.
Women of Valor Cheer One Another On
Proverbs 31 is often treated like an exhausting checklist. An impossible standard that women can never reach.
But in Jewish tradition, Proverbs 31 functions differently. It is not primarily memorized by women. It is memorized by men.
The poem is often sung as a song of praise over the women in their lives during Sabbath meals. It is less a burden and more a celebration.
The first line, often translated “A virtuous woman who can find?” is better rendered:
A woman of valor who can find?
The Hebrew phrase is eschet chayil – a woman of courage, strength, and honor.
In Jewish culture, eshet chayil is recited as a blessing, a way of celebrating courage in both ordinary and extraordinary moments.
Imagine if women leaders cultivated that kind of culture. Because women of valor do a lot of high-fiving. Yet many women leaders have experienced the opposite:
Jealousy.
Discouragement.
Older voices saying, “It’s not your time yet.”
The culture of cheering must begin somewhere.
So why not with us?
Healthy tribes hand you the knife, watch carefully, and want you to succeed.
Your Tribe Connects You to Other Tribes
“The Lord announces the word, and the women who proclaim it are a mighty throng.”
– Psalm 68:11 (NIV)
Several years ago, I attended a pre-conference prayer retreat. After a devotion, the speaker invited us into silence. I sat in the back of the room with my Bible, journal, and pen.
Within minutes, I sensed God wanted to reveal something significant. I opened to Psalm 68 and saw words I had never noticed: “The Lord announces the word, and the women who proclaim it are a mighty throng.”
Later, studying more deeply, I discovered “the word” carries the meaning of divine utterance. God speaks, and women proclaim what they hear. Women are not peripheral in the mission of God. They are a mighty throng.
Generational Tribes and the Song of Victory
In the Old Testament, women often carried the responsibility of celebrating triumph. In Exodus 15, after Israel crossed the Red Sea, Miriam took a timbrel, and all the women followed her with dancing and song.
Miriam sang first. The women and their daughters followed.
In Judges 5, Deborah sings:
“…until I, Deborah, arose… a mother in Israel.”
Deborah’s leadership earned her the title “Mother of Israel” – a generational term.
Tribes are generational connections. Women lead in ways that link arms across time – older teaching younger, younger strengthening older.
Victory was not celebrated once, but again and again across generations.
That is what tribes do.
A Tribe That Carries Leadership Across Generations
In many churches today, women are leading across generations – pastoring, planting, teaching, and building communities from the ground up.
I think of a woman pastor who stepped into leadership after years of serving faithfully behind the scenes. When she was finally appointed, she felt both honored and overwhelmed.
She wasn’t just preaching sermons. She was navigating expectations, visibility, criticism, and the constant tension of being “the first” or “the only” in certain rooms.
What sustained her wasn’t sheer determination. It was the tribe around her.
Older women who had walked through the complexities of ministry before her spoke courage into her life. Younger women watched her leadership and began to imagine their own callings with greater freedom.
She once said, “I used to think leadership was proving I could do it. Now I see leadership is making room for others to come with me.”
That is generational tribal leadership.
Like Miriam, whose song was picked up by the women after her.
Like Deborah, who became a mother to Israel.
Women leaders don’t just win battles. They teach others how to sing after victory.
Leadership Research Confirms What Scripture Has Long Shown
In recent years, leadership research has consistently reinforced what Scripture has long revealed: Sustainable leadership requires community.
Researcher Brené Brown writes about the necessity of belonging and connection for resilience and courage, noting that “we are wired to love, to be loved, and to belong” (Braving the Wilderness, 2017).
Likewise, leadership studies have emphasized that relational support is essential for resilience and long-term effectiveness (Harvard Business Review, “The Power of Resilience,” 2016).
In ministry contexts, isolation is particularly dangerous. Pastors and planters often carry invisible burdens, and women leaders may experience additional pressures of visibility and limited peer support.
This is why learning communities, cohorts, webinars, and leadership networks have become such important tools for formation.
Digital spaces cannot replace embodied community, but they can expand the tribe. Your tribe is no longer limited by geography. Tribes connect tribes.
Practical Ways to Build Your Tribe This Year
So, what does tribal leadership look like for women today?
Here are three starting places:
1. Identify Your Kitchen-Table People
Who are the women who want you to succeed?
Who squeezes your shoulder instead of competing with you?
Name them. Thank them. Stay close.
2. Create a Culture of Valor
Be the first to say, “Eschet chayil.”
Cheer another woman on publicly.
Celebrate courage, not perfection.
3. Join a Learning Community
Step into a cohort, webinar series, retreat, or leadership community where women gather intentionally.
Formation happens when voices join together.
An Invitation
Women leaders, you belong to something bigger than yourself.
You were made for tribal living.
You were made for community.
You were made to travel far, together.
And your tribe – past, present, and future – is cheering you on.
As the African proverb reminds us: “If you want to travel fast, travel alone. If you want to travel far, travel together.”
NOTES
- Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness (2017)
- Harvard Business Review, “The Power of Resilience” (2016)
- African Proverb: “If you want to travel fast…” (commonly cited)
